Thank goodness for Kelsey

Every once in a while as a teacher, you come across a student who you really connect with. It might be because you have a lot in common, because you recognize yourself in that person, really the options are limitless. I’ve found that in Kelsey. She’s a senior who has struggled a bit in the last calendar year. For some reason, she has felt comfortable enough to let me and Jess into her life. She has been fighting depression, anxiety, and a host of other issues lately, and I’m just glad that we can be here for her. She spends just about every Saturday afternoon with Ryan (and Megan when she’s here), she often joins us for family nights on the weekend, she is my teacher aide and brings me lattes on Wednesday mornings…and in return, I answer my phone when she needs me.

She just left. She called me at about 6:30 and asked if I could take a drive with her. I had drunk a glass of wine, so instead I invited her over. We just hung out and chatted, watched Grey’s, and I think maybe just being here helped her feel better. She, unlike every other teenager I know, thanked me before she left, just like she always does. I know she feels like she’s intruding on our life, but the truth is that I’m happy to provide for her whatever it is that she needs. She’s so amazing.

Tonight, to be truthful, I was grateful for the distraction. I’ve been on the verge of a breakdown for days. I don’t know if the pms was contributing or what, but I seriously have been on edge. I’m in some kind of funk, and right now, I truly really hate my job. I love the time I have with my students, but the rest could just disappear and I’d be happy. There is just so MUCH slipping through the cracks of school stupidity that is falling directly on me, and I can. not. do. it.

I don’t like to talk about it, because then I feel like some kind of braggart, but I do a LOT. And it’s not really the doing that is bothering me. I’m MORE than happy to do. What I’m concerned about is the time to do it. I realized today that the interim assistant principal does about half of what I do and is being paid the same. HALF.

Am I a teacher? Am I an activities director? Am I an administrative intern? Am I all THREE? I feel like I’m being pulled in those directions and more…let’s not forget that I’m a wife and mother. I don’t know where to go. I don’t know what to do.

But I know that for a few hours tonight, none of that mattered. Because I was a girl, hanging out with another girl, gossiping and watching Grey’s. Thank you, Kels. I know you won’t understand this for a while, but you are saving me in just the way you think I’m saving you.

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4 Comments

  1. I’m sorry you are having a rough time. It is fantastic that you are there for Kelsey. It just reinforces how great a person you really are.

  2. Awww, that just made me tear up. I’m so glad Kelsey was there to lift you up last night…wish I could be there for you, too.

  3. Teachers like you are what got me through high school and helped me deal with a really rough home life. Kelsey is just as lucky to have you, as you are to have her. I hope you get out of your funk soon.

  4. I have a great admiration for women who are in the trenches with these kids. Although I teach First Grade, I can empathize with you. Know that you are appreciated from someone in Idaho.


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