A cost/benefit analysis

Yesterday I received the financial info from the d&c. Mind you, it came from my insurance company, and not the hospital, so who knows what they will try to get out of me. For the hospital, the anesthesiologist, the pathology and the doctor, the total cost was right around $7000. My cost?


Not too bad, I suppose. We’ve got that cash handy. We don’t have to refinance the house for it. I can’t imagine not having insurance. But the pessimist in me can’t help but think about the real cost of it all.

It cost my faith in my own body. It cost the realization that I don’t have time to cry. It cost a track season. It cost weeks worth of being a terrible mother, teacher, wife.

It gave me more faith in my body than ever. It gave me perspective. It gave me reassurance that I’m doing the right thing. It gave me the courage to quit coaching. It gave me renewed love for my daughters, my students and my husband.

So, really, the $300 is money well-spent.



  1. Just want to know that you continue to be in my thoughts. I am sending lots of hugs and good juju your way.

  2. Some things we cannot see clearly until we see them in the rearview mirror – and sometimes, even then, we cannot, in our finite minds, understand. I truly believe that God is in control – and trust in His infinite wisdom. That said, I have never gone through anything like that and I have to say I admire your strength and the courage to share this saga with us. They say what does not kill us makes us stronger – you’re pretty darn strong, girlfriend.
    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers – Stephi

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