Man, I love Wal*Mart

Not only does the Mecca of the Nascar crowd provide us with daily entertainment on the people of Wal Mart blog, things like this happen there (and yes, this is a true story):

On Saturday, my husband and I, after a particularly *interesting* half hour at home while the kids were at Dairy Queen with their favorite older friend :), decided to go to the Wal*Mart. Yes, we call it THE Wal*Mart – Ryan started it when she was like two and it just stuck.

Anyhoo…Jesse started in the food section and I remembered I needed deodorant. So I strolled ran over to the health & beauty section while he started his trek through the aisles. I found my Secret (and WHY is deodorant almost FOUR dollars?!) and then found him in the bread aisle. As I walked down to meet him, I walked past a woman who looked like an overweight Sharon Stone with longer permed hair. She was in the middle of a sentence, which was apparently addressed to my husband, when she looked up and saw me. She then said, “OH! You’re married! (to him) I was just about to flirt with your husband! That’s how you know you have a cutie! (to me)”

Okay.

I have to admit that this made me laugh out loud. I mean…really?!?! REALLY? Then I realized that 1) she’d probably been alone a HELL of a lot longer than I have ever been; 2) to be sipping an iced coffee from the instore McDonald’s is just tragic (yep, I’m that guy); 3) no one ever flirts with me anymore *sigh*; and 4) my husband IS a cutie, but I don’t need your wannabe Poison video vixen self to flirt with him to know that.

So back off, women of the world. This slowly-balding, slightly-too-hairy-everywhere-else, beer/burrito/bratwurst-bellied man is MINE.

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3 Comments

  1. Mmmmhmmm. I get ya. For Ken it’s waitresses…they always flirt with him. I think it’s because he is actually polite to them and so many aren’t anymore that they think he is flirting with them….which he damn well better not be!
    (BTW, LOVE those kind of afternoons when the kiddos are not around…)

  2. “…I don’t need your wannabe Poison video vixen self to flirt with him to know that. So back off, women of the world. This slowly-balding, slightly-too-hairy-everywhere-else, beer/burrito/bratwurst-bellied man is MINE.”

    Thanks for that, Tara. Truly. I hadn’t peed my pants yet today. 😉

  3. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang! I love the Wal*Mart, too. We should go there sometime and pimp out our husbands for some REAL (Starbucks) lattes! LOL!!!


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