This sounds very attention-whoreish

but it’s not.

Every week during our staff meeting, there are “celebrations.”  It’s usually pretty routine stuff…students winning awards, teachers doing programs…and right now, the weekly announcements of who is leading this wellness challenge we’re having.  Yes, I signed up for it.  Yes, I win every week because I’m training for a marathon.  I signed up to keep myself accountable.  My name gets said, I get a KIND bar, everyone is happy. Except last week, when I wasn’t there…

the teacher running the challenge publicly announced that I’m training for a marathon.And you’d think it had been announced that not only am I climbing Mount Everest, I’m going to do it naked.

The public announcement doesn’t bother me.  Multiple people asking me about it EVERY DAY SINCE does.  Yes, I’m running a marathon.  Because I want to.  Yes, it’s hard.  Yep, it takes time.  No, I’m not crazy. 

I like being recognized for the work I do when it makes a difference – like the state student council adviser of the year award I got (which got completely ignored by the powers that be, but whatevs).  But this work?  This is solely for me. My running is very personal.  It is the only time of day that is all mine – no students, no kids, no phone.  I view Sunday runs like my church…being in the world, showing my gratitude to God for this ability He has given me.  It’s mine.  I race because I like the challenge, not because I like attention. 

The 40-something pounds I’ve kept off for the last 7 months?  It’s my achievement.  No, I’m not sick.  No, I’m not anorexic.  Yes, I eat.  Yes, I eat junk food.  Yes, I drink wine.  There’s not a secret; all I do is work out regularly and eat well most of the time. So when a parent asked our athletic director at a game last week if “the teacher who does the scoring for the game is okay? she looks sooo skinny”, I want to throat punch people.  When multiple colleagues tell me, “you need to stop losing weight” even though I haven’t lost a pound since July, I want to scream.  When did criticizing people of *any* weight become okay?  I can’t imagine if I had gained another 40 pounds that people would be expressing so much concern about my well-being.

I know most people are impressed by my running and by my weight loss.  I know that it comes from a place of compliment.  I just wish they’d quit trying to make a big fucking deal out of it.  It’s not theirs, it’s mine.  Generally, I kind of like being the center of attention.  Need to talk to 2000 kids? I’m your guy.  Need someone to run the meeting?  Sign me up.  But these things belong to me.  I wish people would let me have them.

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